Official Best Asshole Arborist Ever Shirt
First time I met my wife was Halloween. I was sitting out a year of college working, but I went to a costume party at my old fraternity. I was pretty stupid drunk, pretty early. Somehow I ended up in my buddy Eric’s room watching tv by myself. This girl barges in the room looks at me and says, You’re not Eric!” To which I reply, “Neither are you!” Turns out her roommate was hot for Eric but to shy to go talk to him, so her roommate decided to go find him. Two weeks later, the room barger and I got set up on a double date with Eric and the roommate. That was in 1991. Now we have three kids and our youngest is having our first grandkid in December. he came to the door to borrow my sister's textbook. no one would answer the door so I dragged myself out of Official Best Asshole Arborist Ever Shirt bed, and answered the door in nightgown and curlers (hey, it was the early 80's, ok?). he told me was there to see my sister. without a word I nodded, turned around and screamed "SISSS-TURRR", turned back around, said"family intercom system" completely deadpan, and left him standing on the porch while I went back to bed. married me anyway, 38 years on the 21st. When I was 13, I met a girl, Debby, at summer camp. She talked about her horses and attending the big interstate fair every year with her 4H group. On my 13th birthday I went to the fair and looked Debby up. She agreed to go to the carnival with me, but wasn't all that interested (I can't blame her, 13-year old me was a dweeb). She brought along her annoying girlfriend Rene to keep me from getting too fresh, which worked. I was determined to get Debby alone, not that I knew exactly why, so I took the girls on the Tip-Top ride. Rene got sick, got off the ride, and puked. Debby and Rene used that as an excuse to split, and I never saw Debby again.
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